Welfare and Infertility

I’m so excited that Everyday Feminism is cross posting my article on being a Welfare Mom.  This new feminism site is great because it focuses on practical issues in feminism and personal stories of living as a feminist.  Like them on Facebook too!

Here’s the thing.  Of course I immediately got a comment on my blog post from last week about Extra Embryo Options that said: “How can you spend thousands of dollars on IVF when you’re on welfare? Shame on you.”


Way to completely miss the point of the article (both of them)!  I use my personal life experiences to start exploring social issues – it’s called writing.  If you can read my article about welfare and come away with only the realization that “she’s on welfare” then you are probably a lost cause.  I don’t think I need to make my blog a play-by-play of my life, and I’m probably feeding the trolls by even responding, but here goes.  Nice and slow so everyone can keep up.

I’m no longer on “welfare”.  My husband got a great job in April and our healthcare started in June.  We moved to my hometown into a beautiful old house that I used to sell Girl Scout cookies to as a kid.  It has all be very exciting!  I was on welfare for 5 months.


I left a life-draining and horrible situation at NASA in October and social programs kept my family fed and healthy (Aellyn was hospitalized in February – having medicaid saved my family from health-related bankruptcy!) while my husband found a decent job (note: at no point were we a zero-employment household as Pete got a job immediately before I quit).  In a social programs-free society I wouldn’t have been free.  I would have been a slave to a bad situation.  I would have been trapped between horrible and hungry.  Welfare helped me get my family into a healthier place.


Your contributions to our social contract helped my family immensely.  I hope, one day, if you ever need a safety net that I can help you with that.  It doesn’t matter if I deem your situation “acceptable” or if you make decisions the way I would.  It doesn’t matter if you need help for 5 months or 5 years.  You are a valuable member of this society.  You are a valuable person. Your value is in no way diminished by your circumstances.

Even if you are an assumption-jumping, judgmental douchebag.



3 thoughts on “Welfare and Infertility

  1. I think I love you. 🙂
    Seriously, your initial post about "welfare" was empowering. This one is even better. I'm sorry for the douchebag, but you wrote a great post in response.
    My recent post On Crying


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