I had my lining check yesterday. 13 cm, tri-layered, good and fluffy! Couldn’t ask for better. I start PIO on Sunday as well as Medrol and Tetracycline. Babies thaw Wednesday and transfer will be sometime on Friday. I’m so excited!
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about prayer. Whenever I go through a cycle I feel so “wrong” in my prayers. Because everything seems like a smokescreen to my real intent – Please God give me a baby! I feel like my prayers *should* be a specific way. I should say things like “your will be done” and not just say please, please, please. It seems silly since God knows what I’m thinking. I can’t really hide from him that I really, REALLY, REEEEEAAAALLLY want to get pregnant. Luckily a radio program I’ve been listening to this week was talking about Job and it got me thinking about some of the strong an honest prayers in the bible.
Job 6:8 Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for,
Job 7:11 Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.
1 Samuel 1:11 O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son.
That last one was Hannah – the poster-woman of infertility in the bible. I’ve been speaking in the anguish of my spirit. I’m pretty sure God can handle my big emotions. And, in general, I think we do a disservice when we make prayer too formal. We can make people think it is something only pastors can do.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will