Can you believe I’ve been writing here for four years today! April 11, 2010 I wrote my first ever blog post at Baby Dust Diaries. The post was called The Cycle Goes Round and Round.
Ask a woman suffering from IF what day it is. She may not be able to tell you the day of the week or the date but I gurantee she will tell you her cycle day – where she is in her monthly menstral cycle or assisted cycle.
Maybe she is charting her Basal Body Temperature (BBT) to determin ovulation through an increased temperature created by the hormone progesterone in her blood.
Maybe she is taking hormone therapy injections multiple times per day so her doctor can control her cycle.
Either way she knows exactly where she is, what her ovaries are currently doing and what they will do in the next 2 weeks.
What day is it for you?
That’s how it all started. My foray into Infertility Blogging. What a wonderful group of bloggers. So many have affected my life forever. I remember Fly Girl, Elizabeth, Meg, Faith. Recently Eat, Poop, Love just had their daughter! And, Wishing 4 One is finally pregnant! With twins! Does anyone remember Cancer Baby? Bestill my heart I’ll never forget her.
We comforted each other when times were rough
Remember when you could do anything? If you dedicated yourself to it, had a positive attitude, and worked hard – you could accomplish anything. Dream it – dedicate yourself to it – and make it happen.
This mentality got me through grad school…twice. This mentality got me my dream job.
This mentality is a lie.
There are some things that hard work, perseverance, and a positive attitude have no effect on. Some things are beyond your comprehension or control. You can do everything right and get everything wrong. This is infertility.
How do you keep yourself from despair when your dream is out of your control?
And we laughed together to stay sane. The tone of my blog was so different as a result of where I was emotionally. Here’s an example of the crazy things my life was about then,
The [semen collection] room could be the bathroom stall or a small, closet-sized room with a chair and some magazines to “help with collection.” The walls of this closet are paper thin and you can hear the sounds of the lab beyond them. You are worried about producing the sample too quickly and looking weird. You are equally worried that you will take too long and look weird. What exactly is the socially acceptable period of time for masturbating into a sterile cup before handing it to a complete stranger behind the desk? Someone should write Emily Post…
Ah semen analysis. All my Infertile friends will get a kick out of this one,
You Know You’ve Been TTC [Trying To Conceive] Too Long If…
- …you talk about your husband and accidentally say “my DH”…you set your alarm for 5am on Saturday to take your BBT
- …you go to the doctor with your niece for a booster shot and tell the nurse, “no it hurts less if you do it like this…”
- …your DH calls from business travel to ask how your CM is today
- …you shave your legs for your RE not for your DH
- …you worry about the appropriate “haircut” for an ultrasound
- …someone asks what day it is and you almost say “cycle day 4”
- …you loiter near the HPT at the drug store debating buying one (or three)
- …the “big O” now means ovulation and not orgasm
- …you plan your sex life around your next SA
- …you visit the RESOLVE bulletin board more than 5 times per day
- …you send an email at work and almost write “( ____ ments)” in the subject line
- …your DH asks how your cycle buddies are doing
Here is my second favorite picture from my blog over the years:
|Yeah Baby! These #@%$ing things DO work!|
|Worth the wait|
It hasn’t always been easy to transition to the world of mommy blogging from infertility blogging. There is always that little bit of survivors guilt holding me back but, more than that, it was just difficult to find my voice. I never thought about what “type” of blogger I wanted to be when I was blogging my infertility journey. I was just blogging to survive. It was very simple and yet very powerful for me.
After Aellyn was born I felt a little lost for a while. Now I feel like I’ve found my voice again. I am who I am – opinionated and I love to research! So, I stayed true to myself and blog what I know. I try to keep up with all my cycle sistas but I also have a new wonderful tribe of mom-blogger friends. What a wonderful group!
Thank you to everyone who reads. Blogging is a very solitary thing – you throw your heart out into the void and wonder if anyone will hear. Having people listen and share their thoughts with you is just indescribably valuable to me. This is my village, my tribe, my community.
Thank you for 4 wonderful years! And, here’s to 4 more!
A blog is merely a tool that lets you do anything from change the world to share your shopping list.
I’m now on Facebook! Will you join me?
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