Every time I walk into the Dollar Tree I end up asking myself, “why don’t I shop here more often?” When I was a kid, dollar stores were for buying bubbles and cheap, plastic toys that break in 5 minutes. Today they have frozen food sections, kitchen sections, it is amazing!
I got my DH a silicone bar-b-que brush he’s been wanting for $1. I got coconut scented shampoo, conditioner, and moisturizer for $1, $1, and $1. I love coconut scent it reminds me of summer and cheers me up. I got an adorable black and white picture frame to put the picture of our embryos in (we want to do a black and white nursery should we be so blessed).
I also got 10 home pregnancy tests for $1 a piece!
Yes, I bought HPT so sue me. I know everyone – including my mom and DH – have forbidden me to test before my beta blood test on the 9th. Well…pfft. That’s what I think of that. But to help them feel better I decided to explain my perfectly rational reasoning behind this.
- I want to communicate with my body and my embryos. For the past 3 weeks I’ve been bloodtested and ultrasounded to death. I know on a daily basis what my body is doing. In a strange way it is like talking to my body. “Hey body, what’s up?” And now, post transfer when I most want to here how my body and my babies are doing I’m supposed to cut off all communication? It just seems unnatural.
- I want data. I am meticulous and I want to thoroughly document our journey that includes knowing when the HCG leaves my body and when/if I get my own HCG provided by baby. I want to know when.
- I want to process my emotions in the privacy of my own home. I think it would not be good for me to build up all my hopes on one single test. This way I can cautiously weigh possible outcomes myself before the big beta day.
- Scenario 1: I test + on HPT and + on beta. What’s the problem? Party! PTL!
- Scenario 2: I test – on HPT and + on beta. What a surprise! Although I knew to wait for beta before dropping into complete despair I am happily surprised by the news! Party! PTL!
- Scenario 3: I test – on HPT and – on beta. This is devastating. I’ve had some time to process the possibility since I had been POAS. Queue inconsolable sadness.
- Scenario 4: I test + on HPT and – on beta. This is the worst of the 4 and would be very painful. However, this is also the least likely. HPT are much more likely to give false- than false+. I really don’t believe in the false+. If I test + on HPT and then – on beta I’m going to assume that I was pregnant and miscarried. This option sucks and will hurt really bad. But worse than a – beta by itself? It is kind of moot. Pain that great is hardly shaded by degrees.