The Waiting Room

My fertility clinic is part of a large and well-known medical clinic.  The actual fertility clinic is on the main campus.  I do my monitoring in a satellite clinic.  This means there is no sign on the building that says “fertility clinic” or “reproductive…” whatever.  However, each morning the waiting room shared jointly by the radiology department and the lab where blood is drawn fills with young women. We are each called in one-by-one by one of the IVF nurses that rotate through “satellite clinic duty.”  Radiology doesn’t even open until 8am.  The hour between 7 and 8 is reserved exclusively for trans-vaginal ultrasounds (aka the dildocam).  We are all there for the same reason.  We all know this.  We will briefly make eye contact and smile a sad knowing smile.  I wonder if they are all thinking what I am thinking.

What is her story?  Do her ovaries hurt as much as mine?  Is this her first cycle?  How long has she been trying?  Does she cry as much as I?

I also think about the world outside me going on as usual while we sit here enduring infertility and all its trappings.  I think about how I’m going to get to work and want to scream at everyone who says goodmorning, “I’ve been up for hours.  I’ve been dildocam’d and blood drawn.  This is way past morning for me and just this side of good.”

Mostly though I think to the women sitting there with me…I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

e2 at 135 – rising for a change!  still lots of follies around 10mm.  One at 11.4.  I hope a few others catch up.  Three more days at 300 units and then monitoring on Monday.

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