T-minus 11 days and counting

Captains Log…Stardate 11 days till POAS…

I told DH to day that I can’t imagine being pregnant. I’m not trying to be negative I just honestly can’t imagine getting TWO pink lines. I think I’ll faint from the shock.

Cycle number 82 since TTC. 6 years 11 months. I’ve seen too many negatives to imagine a positive.

This, of course, will not make it any easier to see a negative.

Luckily work is really keeping me busy. I wish I could say here where I work but I have the absolute coolest job ever. I love everything about it (except that insurance doesn’t cover IVF – but hey, at least it covers IUI). I’m involved in a really great project that makes me go 2-3 hours without even analyzing lower abdomen twinges or calculating exactly to what degree my boobs hurt.

On a more sour note. I’m really developing a hate problem. I’m a nice person. I rarely hate people. But lately I seem to have a lot of venom for pregnant women, women with children, women without children that think getting pregnant will be a peice of cake, and basically anyone who isn’t focused on my conception. What do you mean you want to talk about your vacation? Don’t you know I’m cycling here! Boring! Let’s talk about me! And I simply want to claw someone’s eyes out when the complain about ANYTHING if they have kids. Little jimmy’s sick? Shut up! At least you have kids. You have a headache? Who cares, at least your uterus works.

Sometimes I really don’t like the person I’m becoming.