Needles and tears

Today was all about needles and tears – although they were not related to each other.

We started out the day with the injectibles training for our first IUI cycle. The nurse was great. She spent about an hour answering our questions and explaining everything to us. DH got to practice with the needle and fake skin. HE LOVED IT. He actually looked gleeful jabbing the needle in. What a sadist! I think he’s going to have a blast shooting me up every night.

They could not do the bloodwork or ultrasound because AF hadn’t showed up. I was two days late! Of course I was mostly pissed that this was delaying my IUI cycle but…as the day wore on I started to hope that I was preggo.

You see, most women’s bodies shed the linning of the uterus due to a drop in the hormone progesterone. Not mine! My body sheds the linning due to a RISE in the little known hormone “hope.” Bitch.

At this point – no tears – mostly just pissed at myself for hoping. Then I get home and our neighbor’s 2 year old is over in our yard pointing at the sky, singing “twinkle twinkle” (“ba ba ba…”) and he walked right up to DH and stuck out his hand to shake it. I just lost it. JUST FUCKING LOST IT.