Yesterday was such a good day!  We had an appointment in the morning with Dr. Lavin of Advanced Pediatrics in Beachwood, Ohio.  He was wonderful and our search is finally over!  I told him my primary concern was having a doctor who was willing to work with us even if we didn’t vaccinate.  He at first talked about MMR and autism (which I’m realizing most people see as the “reason” people don’t vax).  His studies, which he had typed up into a report, show that autism is completely out of hand but NOT being caused by the MMR vaccine.  He cited a Denmark study, I’ll try to find it.  However, I told him that the MMR/autism link was not my reason for not vaxing but that I honestly believe people *should* get measles, mumps, and rubella.  He agreed.  We talked about Chicken pox and how we were throwing nature out of balance with the vaccine.  He agreed.  I said my infant does not need Hep B.  He agreed.  Overall it was a great conversation.  He said he tries not to be a slave to a certain ideology and that his job was to give me information so that I could do my job of making the best decisions for my daughter!  We also talked about our IVF experience and he totally “got” it.  This is important to me.  When I tell someone that it took us 9 years to get where we are I want them to see how that might effect our decisions.  He acknowledged how special our little girl was going to be!

And boy is she special.  We got to see her again at our ultrasound yesterday afternoon.  We got to see her face and her little hands.  She had a full bladder and then she peed and we saw it!  It was so cute!  LOL.  I’ll post pics as soon as I can scan them.  I also had a non-stress test which I’ll get every week from now on.  I think that is overkill for gestational diabetes but I’m playing nice so I can stay with the midwives.  Baby is firmly head down but her legs are all bent up so I’m not getting rib kicks at all.  Of course I can’t breathe at all.  I have to lean my seat back in the car to be able to breathe!  8 more weeks!  She said they don’t like to let GD patients go past their due date.  I’ve decided not to argue now, we’ll see how it goes.  If it comes down to induction I’ll take in some studies about the lack of improved outcomes with induction for GD and plead my case then.  I feel like I am walking a tight line between being the pushy patient and staying with the midwives.  I DO NOT WANT THE OBs TO DELIVER MY BABY!  That is goal #1.  Goal #2 is anything relating to Aellyn after she’s born – no vit K, no eye drops, no hepB vaccine, etc.  So I’m convincing myself that my “birth experience” take the #3 slot.  I need to let some of that go and focus on what really matters.

I got tagged by Wishing for One!  I love getting tagged and I’ll work on that next.

***Canyonlands NP in Utah is the most beautiful place on Earth.  Take a minute to tell our leaders we don’t want oil companies plundering this land!***

I’ve always been intrigued by homeopathic medicine.  My doctor growing up was open minded enough to offer homeopathic remedies from time to time  (he also wrote a bible verse on a prescription pad for my dad, lol).  I’ve been reading about homeopathic remedies for children since studies show that cold meds are terrible for them.  Well I’ve been researching homeopathy for gestational diabetes and I think I’m going to try chromium supplementation.  Mainstream medicine doesn’t spend much time on homeopathic remedies but I did find this great study about chromium for GD.  

My numbers have actually been great.  Fasting numbers in the mid 80s, most post-meal numbers between 95-110.  I just DO NOT want to need insulin since I’m sure that would bump me to the OBs.  

We are scheduled for a ultrasound on Monday and meeting with the OB and then our midwife.  I’m going to ask some pointed questions about reducing interventions in spite of the GD.  I really want to only intervene if evidence exists of a problem.  Sometimes to “err on the side of caution” GD mothers are induced or even scheduled for a c-section.  I would do those things but only if there is an identifiable problem with the baby.  I also don’t want electronic fetal monitoring during labor unless absolutely necessary since this will keep me out of the labor pool and tied to the bed.

We also have an appointment with a pediatrician Monday morning.  I got a recommendation from the ladies at Mothering.com message boards (aka “crunchy” mama land) to try Dr. Lavin at Advanced Pediatrics for a no-vax friendly doc.  I was excited to see that “In order to provide our patients the best uninfluenced information that science has to offer, we do not accept samples of drugs, advertising tchotchkes, money, food, or any item from outside vendors.”  I’m really hopeful that he will make a great choice for us (even if he is 45 minutes away).  It will certainly be a relief to have that out of the way!

Oh by the way, I’m 31 FREAKING WEEKS PREGNANT!  Holy crap!  I can’t believe it!!!  It is downright surreal.  It definitely feels like it is going fast now.  SOOOO much to do!  Being on bed rest the house is a mess.  I hope that “nesting instinct” kicks in soon!  Right now my “getting as much sleep as possible” instinct has taken over!

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday.  Our family rents a cabin-like hall for all the people who come.  It is really great to get so many people together.  This year I am thankful for,

1. The blessing of Partnership for Families and Dr. Cynthia Austin for referring us for the grant.  
2. For the miracle of God and modern science that makes IVF possible.
3. For my family for standing by me and supporting me during the hard years and sharing our joy during this wonderful year.
4. For my job that is so rewarding and yet so accommodating when life circumstances warrant.

I had my appt. with the diabetes educator this morning.  I feel much better having a “plan.”  I got a glucometer to check my sugar levels so I should be able to keep track of how I’m doing.  The food plan isn’t too hard it is more about spacing out my carbs and not eating too many at one time so it isn’t that restrictive.  I was eating pretty well anyways I think my primary problem was that I intentionally switched to sugar because I didn’t want to have aspertame while I was pregnant.  Kind of counterintuitive.  So I’ve checked my sugar 3 times so far and it has been excellent.  Even after my normal breakfast of cheerios and milk (which can be a trigger for some).  So, it is all good.  When I start to worry Aellyn kicks me to remind me what it is all about.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement.  I was kind of wallowing in self-pity and worry for a while there but now I feel committed to make this work!

I was thinking how unfair it is that IF women have ANY pregnancy complications.  It makes me think of a blogger I used to know and follow named Beth.  She had struggled with IF and finally got pregnant with IVF.  I was so happy for her.  Then I read through the months as she struggled with Hyperemesis gravidarum.  This is morning sickness times 1,000.  Beth was hospitalized because she couldn’t eat or drink anything.  She had to IV nutrition for most of her pregnancy to make sure the baby was getting what it needed.  It was so awful to watch.  She also lost her job for missing work (!! she got lots of comments about fighting that so I’m not sure how it ended).  It was just a nightmare pregnancy and I remember feeling pissed off for her to have to go through that after IVF and all.

Next I thought about some great advice my mom gave me when my sister was in a car accident.  She had just finished her last final of her first semester back to school after a debilitating illness (psoriatic arthritis) and she got into a terrible car accident by an uninsured driver running a red light.  She was in ICU.  The picture of the car showed clumps of her hair hanging from the shattered windshield.  I felt, again, pissed off.  Hadn’t she been through enough?  I told my mom, “where the hell was God?”  She, in the infinite motherly wisdom said quietly, “he was there making sure she didn’t go through the windshield.”

Lastly I thought of my dad having a heart attack a few weeks after his 50th birthday on Thanksgiving (which, he will tell you…at length…happened after the turkey and before the pumpkin pie!).  It was just devastating to even hear or say “heart attack” in the same breath with “dad.”  It was a rough time for our family (stories for another time: what dad said when I got to the hospital, my sister and I fighting like 10 year olds, etc. – stress does things to you.)  Anyways, that was 9 years ago and in the interim my dad has become the hero of eating right, not smoking, and exercise.  He is healthier than any of us!  In hindsight, the heart attack was a blessing.  God gave him a nudge in the ribs that stopped him from having “a big one” a few years later.  

Ok, so where am I going with all this?  This is what I’ve learned,

1. The best thing about gestational diabetes for an IFer is the gestational part.  I’m pregnant.  How many IFers would pray for that much.
2. God is in everything.  He didn’t forget me and give me GD he remembered me and didn’t give me a worse diagnosis.
3. This is an important nudge for me.  I am high risk for type II diabetes.  Hopefully what I can learn from this will improve my health beyond my pregnancy.

My appt. is Friday to learn about the glucometer and get a customized diet.  It will feel good to have a plan.  In the meantime I have to survive Thanksgiving!