Surfing and Hopping

The Winter Cold Season has visited my family this week so I’m going to combine two posts into one!  First is a long overdue Sunday Surf and second is the ADM Blog hop!

Sunday Surf

You can always see what I’m reading at my Google Reader Public Page.  Check out Authentic Parenting, Maman A Droit, Navelgazing, Momma Jorje, pocket.buddha, Breastfeeding Moms Unite!, Enjoy Birth, A Domesticated Woman’s Adventures, This Adventure Life, The Parent Vortex, and A Little Bit of All of It for more Sunday Surfing! (Look at all the bloggers who’ve joined while I’ve been on hiatus!!  If you also participate in a regular link list, whether on Sunday or not, let me know and I’ll add your link.)

  • Parenting While Male: 74 Fathers Talk about Playground Discrimination
    from Daddy Dialectic – Stay at home dads are becoming more common but still face discrimination.  Daddy Dialectic talks about this pressing issue.  “It certainly made me feel excluded, possibly looked-down-upon. The strange thing was that each time such criticism or behavior was couched in such a way that it excused itself. ‘Of course, it’s better for the children for a mother to do these things’ was one comment I remember, delivered with a short, self-conscious, judgmental laugh. As though it were self-evident that I wasn’t the best choice to take care of my daughters.”
  • Her body, her choice
    from Dulce de leche – talks about an important issue in raising daughters: “trying to navigate just how important it is to conform to cultural standards of haircare versus my daughter’s right to say no and control her own body.”
  • A really bad day
    from Raising My Boychick – If Arwyn wrote the ingredient list on a box of oatmeal I’d read it.  Everything she writes is eloquent, raw, and thought provoking.  In this post she honestly talks about when “gentle” discipline is difficult.
  • Kelley Williams-Bolar Sentence Ends Early; Appeal…
    from Racialicious – the intersection of race and pop - This isn’t a blog post per se but a local news item where I live so you may not have heard about it.  A mother spend time in jail for lying about her son’s address so he could get into a better school.  I might write more on this later but I’d love to hear your thoughts on what she did.

Blog Hop

This week’s topic:

What is the best advice you received but never thought you’d use?

Great question!  I’ve mentioned before that the best advice I’ve ever gotten was to trust my mama-instinct but I *knew* I’d use that so I had to think of something I thought was throw away advice that ended up being a gold mine!

So, here it is:  Pacifiers.  In the lactivist community you’d think a pacifier was equal to giving your kid a chocolate bar to suck on at a day old.  I was duly terrified of nipple confusion that I refused to have any pacifiers in the house in case I “caved in a moment of weakness.”  Fortunately my friend Jennifer, wiser than I, bought me one anyways for my baby shower.  I kept it in the package because I thought I’d re-gift it at some point.

WRONG!  I’m sure that nipple confusion is a real thing in some cases but I do think it is overrated and a source of great fear.  My daughter had a good latch (and if she hadn’t I would have been more worried about introducing an artificial nipple) but she was a “high needs” sucker.  So, it was me.  All. Night. Long.  The second night home from the hospital my milk still hadn’t come in and I was fretting that she was hungry and I was a breastfeeding failure.  (Note, this is why I DO think it is a good idea if you are committed to breastfeeding to NOT have formula samples on hand “just in case.”  It is very alluring in the early morning hours.)

Something reminded me of those pacifiers in the bottom of a big bag of baby stuff that was for when she was older.  I rummaged through it like a starving man in a restaurant dumpster.  I popped it in her mouth and she slept “like a baby” (who coined that term?  They should be shot.) for 4 straight hours.

And guess what?  The world did not come to an end.  She did not refuse the breast the next morning when I woke up with 2 Pamela Anderson sized bricks on my chest.  She was a great nurser and she was definitely soothed by her binkie.  She still has it for bedtime and naps (I don’t like toddlers walking around the grocery store sucking on a binkie) and I see no reason to wean her of it.  At press time I’ve never heard of a 20 year old who needs a paci.  I think we’re safe.

Thanks Jennifer!

Please visit the other Blog Hoppers (and the Sunday Surfers!).


6 thoughts on “Surfing and Hopping

  1. What do I think of the mom who was put in jail for trying to get her kids into a better school? I think it’s awful that she had to even do that in the first place, in order to keep her kids safe and get them a quality education. Since the Dept. of Education was started 30 years, ago, we’ve seen real education stagnate or get worse, with school quality being so bad that some people — like this mom — will actually break the law to get their kids out of some schools. I think this is more of an indictment against the school system and lack of school choice and the government-run schools that are failing our kids, than this mom who was just trying to help her kids.

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  2. I’m glad I’m not the only one who went against the lactativists advice and gave both my boob attached kiddos a pacifier early on. I don’t think any of us would have survived if I didn’t! And go figure, neither of them wanted anything to do with bottles, but became very attached to their “binks.” Just goes to show that mommy instinct is really the best thing!

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  3. We lived by binkies in our house! I also bf’d both girls but knew that they needed something else to satisfy the sucking reflex…and that’s where the binky came into play. :) We had no nipple confusion either by using them, and I felt so much more sane! :)

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  4. Our pacifier story didn’t turn out nearly as well. =( After giving my daughter a paci and giving her a bottle of expressed breastmilk when I returned to work, she refused my breast within three days. =( For the rest of her first year I had to pump everything I gave her.

    I do see your point! Relax and don’t let what others tell you dictate what you do as a mom.

    But nipple confusion is out there, and it’s hurtful. =(

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